Holding On
by maximumpotter
Summary: When Fang and I were in second grade, we mapped out our entire lives together: everything from making the middle school sports teams to what we wanted to be when we grew up. Now that we're in high school, it's not like I expect our lives to go exactly according to that anymore... but being away from each other was certainly never part of the plan. (No wings, Fax.)
1. Chapter 1

**Heyyyy, I told you it wouldn't be that long before I posted a new story! This should be pretty long.**

_Chapter 1 / February 21, 2013 / 2,084 words_

* * *

"I'm really scared of the future," I admitted.

Fang and I were sitting on the swings in our neighborhood park as the sun set. The children were long gone, so it was pretty much deserted, but I liked it this way. Our moms used to take us to this playground all the time when we were younger, so it held a lot of sentimentality for me. Whenever we go there now, I start thinking about the future, and how everything's different, and how soon I might not even live near this park. I might move away for college. Or what if they tore the playground down and replaced it? It's getting old. I just can't seem to let go of my childhood.

It's like life is pulling me towards everything that comes with growing up, but I'm still holding onto that innocence with one finger. I miss the times when big decision-making didn't surpass choosing the theme for my birthday party. I could pick the cartoon character I wanted all over the decorations and cake. Now, I'll have to choose where I want to go to college in just a couple of years, and after that, I'll have to choose a major, and then a career. I regretted picking Hot Wheels as the theme for my eighth birthday (apparently girls don't like that stuff) and cried about it when people made fun of me, so you can imagine that decisions that'll influence the entire course of my life aren't my favorite.

Back then, pain was how gross and bloody my knees would get if I skinned them. Sadness could be cured by a Fudgesicle. Love was when Fang and I got married in the backyard.

If only that was still the case.

"What about it?" Fang asked.

"Everything. The SAT, and college, and what I want to do for a living..." I answered, looking to him for reassurance.

He nodded, still staring off into the distance. "Yeah, it's a lot."

"And what if we go to colleges that are really far apart? Even a half hour drive would be such a big difference; what if it was, like, across the country?" I continued.

He turned to me and gave me one of his little smiles. "That doesn't have to be a problem, though. We can choose two that are near each other. Like, in New York City, there are _so_ many schools. We could live together and take the subway. Or we could do something like that in a different city. I wouldn't worry about that."

"That's true..." I replied, smiling a bit myself. That sounded like so much fun. "But what if your dream school is in New York and mine's in LA?"

"Being with you will be a pretty big factor in my decision, Max. No matter how much I like a school, I won't be able to like it anywhere near as much if you aren't there. It'd be weird," he assured me. It made me feel really good.

"_Or _we could run off and live in the streets and prostitute ourselves for a living," I joked.

"That is always an option," he agreed, his tone completely serious.

We smiled at each other and then sat in comfortable silence for a while longer. I no longer doubted that everything would end up okay. If we're together, I'll never feel lost.

* * *

_"__...And remember, everyone, Homecoming is in just two weeks! Buy tickets at lunch or after school in the quad!"_

I was in my second period class, zoning out as the student council made announcements exuberantly over the PA. How they have so much pep at nine in the morning, I'll never understand.

"OMG! Max! Have you gotten a dress yet? Wait, no, of course you haven't. Let's go shopping after school!" my friend Nudge whispered, turning around in her desk to face me.

I groaned. "I don't wanna go..."

"You _have _to go! Don't be such a downer!" she scolded.

"Nudge, I hate heels, I hate dresses, I hate makeup, and I hate getting my picture taken. There is no way I'm going," I insisted.

"You and I both know you're going, Max. You might as well just get a dress while they still have a big selection left," she firmly replied. Ugh. She was right.

I sighed. "Fine..."

Nudge and I walked to our usual spot after class. We had a fifteen minute break after second period.

"Ella!" Nudge exclaimed, speeding up and dragging me along with her. "We're taking Max shopping for a dress today!"

"YESSSS!" Ella cheered. For being some of my best friends, the two of them sure like to torture me.

Fang smirked at me. "You look excited."

I gave him a look that clearly said '_help me'_ and he just smiled.

"Waitwaitwait, guys," I interrupted, "I'm gonna be that awkward fifth wheel or whatever. You're all gonna have dates, and I'm not gonna go through all this trauma just so I can feel like a loser all night."

Everyone looked at me and then at Fang. He looked at me amusedly.

"No, don't suck Fang into asking me, guys. Really."

He raised an eyebrow at me. I'm really good at making things awkward for myself.

Everyone was looking at me with this stupid, annoying, knowing expression. They're all so goddamn convinced that I'm secretly in love with him. Well, I don't think Fang is, but he likes to play along when they start bugging me about it.

The bell rang. I thanked God and Allah and Buddha and Zeus for not making me stay there any longer.

* * *

Homecoming is pretty formal at our school. It's the only dance that the underclassmen can attend that you get to buy a nice dress for, and we live in a relatively affluent area, so people get pretty into it.

Nudge and Ella had been dragging me from store to store, as if the options were really that different in each one. When we were at the third store, they shoved six dresses into my hands and ordered me to go try them on. I grumbled to myself a bit as they followed me to the dressing rooms. Luckily, the store didn't allow more than one person to go in each stall.

The third dress I tried on was approved. I quite liked it myself, actually.

"OH. MY. GOD. You look _hot_. Max, we're getting that one," Nudge informed me.

"I _love _it! You look so good in that color! And I have a pair of shoes that'll go _soooo _well with that..." Ella gushed.

"Does this mean we can leave now?" I asked.

"Well, we can leave this store, but we still have to get jewelry!" Nudge piped. Oh, my God...

As eternal as the shopping trip felt, I was getting kind of... excited. I mean, the dress did look really nice on me, and as much as I hate to say it, I was looking forward to attention from boys. Don't we all want attention sometimes?

We _finally _left that godforsaken mall, so I got to go home and pretend my homework didn't exist. Fang was waiting for me in my room when I got there, typing away on his laptop. I flopped on the bed next to him.

"At least it's over. I'm _so_ glad it's over," I groaned into my pillow. I heard Fang chuckle a bit.

"What'd you get?" he asked.

"Oh, Nudge and Ella said I'm not allowed to show anyone. Something about 'making an entrance.'"

He raised his eyebrows and gave me a smile that clearly said _'__I'm laughing at you.' _"Okay..." he replied, dragging out the end of the word.

I sat up and peered at the computer screen. "What're you writing?"

"Chem lab report," he sighed. "But I'd rather you distract me." He closed the laptop, set it on the ground, and slid so he was laying down.

"Hmm..." I pondered, snuggling up to his chest. "I'm too tired to be interesting. Talk to me in French," I replied.

Fang's mom, Anne, is Canadian, and she's fluent in both French and English. She taught Fang how to speak French when he was very young. I was way too impatient and stubborn to learn with him. I've always hated anything that wasn't easy for me.

Anyway, I ask him to talk to me in French all the time. It's so pretty... and maybe I pretend that he's being romantic as I listen. I have no idea what he's saying, so I use my imagination.

"Mm..." he hummed. He ran his fingers through my hair gently. _"__Je veux être avec toi pour toujours. Je pense toujours à toi... Je suis amoureux."_

He was talking about iguanas, for all I knew, but it sounded so alluring. I smiled softly.

"I love you," I murmured.

He leaned down to kiss my head. _"__Je t'aime."_

* * *

The next week, I came home from school one day to find my mom very upset. She was sitting at the kitchen island with her head in her hands, a glass of white wine in front of her.

"Hey, Mom!" I chatted obliviously as I walked in to get a snack.

She looked up. "Oh, hi, honey. How was your day?"

"It was okay. Everyone's getting asked to homecoming, though, and it makes me feel like a loser. I'm not gonna cry about it or anything, but... It must feel nice to get flowers in front of everyone," I admitted.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," she sighed, giving me a weak smile. She looked really, really tired.

I frowned, becoming concerned. "What's wrong?"

She paused before answering. "Just a long day, that's all."

I sat on the stool next to her. "What happened?"

"Nothing, sweetie; don't worry about it," she assured me after taking a deep breath. I still wasn't buying it, but I didn't think much of it.

"Okay," I replied, standing back up to hug her. She smiled sadly at me in return.

My mom and I are pretty close. We argue and get annoyed with each other just like any other mother and daughter, but we also spend a lot of time together watching TV shows on Netflix and making chocolate chip cookies.

"Hi," Gazzy, my little brother, said as he walked in. He's ten.

"Hey, kiddo," I replied.

"Is Fang coming over for dinner tonight?" he asked, making me smile.

Gazzy and I get along fine, but he really admires Fang and thinks of him as a big brother. In his eyes, Fang is the coolest guy ever, so Gazzy wants to be exactly like him. Fang and his family come over for dinner sometimes, and it's one of the few times during the week that the two of them see each other, so it's pretty important to Gazzy.

"Yeah, he should be," I answered, ruffling his hair.

"Cool," he replied, then ran upstairs. Gazzy always "plays it cool" when it comes to Fang. It's not like he ever sees Fang jumping up and down and giggling, so he doesn't want to act too excited. It was silly, considering that Fang would like him and be nice to him either way, but it's also pretty adorable how much he looks up to him.

"Shit," my mom muttered. "I didn't plan anything for dinner."

"I'll help you if you want," I offered.

"No, sweetie, it's fine. Go do your homework; I know once Fang's here you won't be getting any done."

She was right, of course. "Yeah, yeah," I laughed, heading towards the stairs.

I had some reading for English that I was super behind on and desperately needed to finish, but I found myself getting sidetracked every few minutes; lost in daydreams about being asked to Homecoming by Fang. My fantasies were totally ridiculous, as they included us kissing passionately by my locker and that bitch Lissa watching us jealously, but a girl can hope.

I ended up falling asleep, only waking up when the doorbell rang and the dog barked. Damn it.

Gazzy shot past my room and yelled, "I'll get it!" What a dork.

A minute later, Fang was in my room. One side of his mouth curled up into a little smile. "Were you sleeping?"

"Yeah," I groaned. He laid down next to me and rubbed my back. How the hell am I supposed to fall out of love with this kid?

* * *

**Feedback, please! Thank you soooo much for reading :-)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Fang and Max are best friends and not dating. Just to clear that up.**

**Okay... It's 1:21 am and I'm on spring break, so i vowed that i will not go to sleep until this chapter is done. and i really value my sleep. if this ends up shit because i'm half awake then i will rewrite it i promise 3**

**...**

**i just got some poptarts so i'll stay awake yay ok now lets READ**

**(turns on proper grammar)**

* * *

I hate Spirit Week. Just to clear this up: I hate _all _kinds of dressing up. This ranges from Halloween to Homecoming to fuckin' "Superhero Day" at school. And the worst part is, the English teacher gives some extra credit each day to the kids who participate. Guess who'd really like to bump up her 89.3% in the class before progress reports go out? This girl.

I'm really tired right now. Guess who I stayed up all night thinking about?

That'd be dear old Nicholas!

No, Fang isn't his real name. He had a really weird vampire phase in, like, second grade, and the name just stuck.

Anyway, it's about five minutes until first period starts. Student Council thought it'd be real cute to play music over the PA system before school and during passing periods during Spirit Week. Fang had to stop me from banging my head against the lockers when they started playing that diamond song by Rihanna.

"_Faaannfngnagng i caanantnt do i tttt toooday,_" I managed to groan and whine at the same time.

"Max, it's already Wednesday. It's not so bad. Plus, I know how excited you are for Homecoming this weekend," he teased, poking me in the stomach. I frowned.

"I'm grumpy," I complained.

"I know, baby," he cooed, pinching my cheek and totally just trying to piss me off.

I rolled my eyes and walked toward my first class. It's going to be a long day.

* * *

Homecoming was just three days away, and I still hadn't decided whether or not I was taking a date. Lissa kept her schedule open for me, but I doubt I'll take her up on that. She's really easy, which is appreciated when I'm in the mood for that, but otherwise, she drives me crazy.

I could go solo. I certainly wouldn't be the only one, and I certainly wouldn't have a problem finding people to dance with.

I could ask Max. If she said no, I'd be mortified. If she said yes, I'd feel awkward, but really awesome at the same time. Nudge keeps assuring me that Max is "totally in love with me" but that she isn't acknowledging it. That isn't exactly boosting my confidence.

I mean, I'd love to grind with her all night at the dance, but I highly doubt she'll be down for that. And I sure as hell don't want to ask her. I'm a total coward when it comes to Max, so... I think I'll just tease her a lot today and gauge her reaction. Yeah. Smooth, Fang. Productive.

I started during lunch. Max was really tired and leaning on me when Nudge brought up Homecoming for the umpteenth time today.

"I'm so excited! I, like, can't even contain my excitement! Oh, my God! I can't believe Brett asked me!" Nudge babbled.

"Max is just as excited as you are," I added playfully, tickling her side a bit. "Aren't you, Max?"

"Yeah, I'm super psyched to just stand there in expensive clothing and watch everyone else practically have dry sex. It's my favorite pastime," she retorted. I laughed a little.

"That wouldn't be a problem if you went with Fang," Ella sang. She just groaned in response.

"Stop denying your love for me, Max. It's killing you; I can tell," I teased. Acting like a cocky douche helps me forget that I'm a total pussy.

"Not this again," she grumbled. Nudge and Ella were giggling and teasing her.

I pulled her onto my lap and rested my chin on her shoulder. "You totally wanna kiss me right now," I told her. "She totally wants to kiss me right now," I repeated, this time directed at Nudge and Ella.

"She so does... Oh, my God, she's bright red!" Nudge exclaimed.

Her face was definitely heating up. "Aww, baby, don't be shy," I crooned, kissing her a few times on the cheek.

Now the girls were doing that weird fangirl freakout thing that they do whenever they think something's cute, making this all the more amusing.

**(A/N:...I fell asleep)**

"We'd be cute together," I murmured so only Max could hear.

I gently turned her chin so she was looking at me. I glanced from her eyes to her lips, trying to make it look like I was about to kiss her. She wasn't breathing.

I angled my head a bit and ran my thumb down her cheek softly. Then, the bell rang.

Max hopped right out of my lap and walked quickly to her next class. I stared after her for a few moments and then looked back at the rest of my friends.

"So close," Iggy said, shaking his head. I smirked at him.

"Someday..." I trailed off.

The rest of the week passed, and I ended up not asking anyone to Homecoming, and luckily, Max had turned down all of her invites.

We went to her house before the dance to take pictures and such. Brett was with Nudge, Iggy was with Ella, and even though Max and I weren't technically together, we'd be together for the pictures. We are best friends, after all.

I finally heard some arguing coming from inside the house. Iggy, Brett, and I were waiting in the backyard for the girls to finish up getting ready. Nudge and Ella were trying to drag Max outside, and she was protesting. I smirked at how typical this was.

Finally they dragged her out. And holy shit, Max looked amazing.

She was wearing this cerulean blue, shiny, short, strapless dress. It was sexy, but it was modest. It was girly, but it was simple. It was so _Max._

Her hair was curled and neat, an unusual sight, and it looked so soft and shiny and perfect. I wanted to weave my fingers into it and kiss her. But that probably wasn't the best idea at the moment.

She was wearing these heels that made her legs look a million miles long. God, she looked so hot. I just wanted to touch her.

Max's eyes were fixated on the lawn beneath her, as she was nervous and embarrassed. I gently took her hands in my own.

"You look amazing, Max," I told her quietly. "Beautiful."

She blushed profusely and thanked me, and I couldn't help but smirk. I kissed her forehead. I love her so much.

I held her close as we posed for pictures, and her mom was tearing up. "My babies are all grown up!"

When it was time for us to leave, Mrs. Martinez really started crying. Max's eyes widened. "Mom, oh, my God, what's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing, sweetie; go have fun, okay?"

"Okay.." she answered, still suspicious. I took her hand in mine and laced our fingers together.

She didn't let go until we were on the dance floor. Not once.

She had some friends she wanted to go chat with for a few minutes, so I regretfully dropped her hand. I grinded with a couple of girls whom I didn't know very well before going back to my group.

"Dude, Fang," Iggy called. "When Max comes back, I dare you to grind her."

"Yeah, that'd be a great idea if I was in the mood to get punched in the face."

"Thirty bucks," he added. "Don't be a pussy!"

Ugh. "Fine."

When she arrived, I grabbed her by the waist. "Hey, pretty girl."

"Hi," she replied, her voice becoming small.

"Care to dance?" I asked confidently. In reality, of course, I was so fucking nervous.

"You mean, like...?"

"Yeah," I answered.

"Uh, sure," she agreed hesitantly.

She turned around, and I rested my hands on her hips. Our movements were tentative, as we were barely brushing against each other, but I eventually got the courage to add some more pressure. God, she was hot. As she started grinding harder against me, I realized how fucking lucky all the stupid douchebags that got to touch her are. I'd always been jealous of her boyfriends, but I was only just now realizing that it was a major privilege to be touching such a fucking goddess like her.

Max had taken her heels off right before the dance, just as all the other girls had, because they were uncomfortable, but she wasn't that much shorter than me without them. I tilted my head down so that I was right over her shoulder, making sure she could hear my uneven breathing. I decided to take a risk, mostly because I couldn't really help myself anyway, but also because I figured I was having good luck tonight. I put my lips on her neck.

I'd never kissed Max in such an intimate place before. Sure, I could kiss her cheek, her forehead, and even her stomach without it being weird, but her neck was a whole new territory. And she had a really hot neck, lemme tell you.

I started off gently, just barely brushing my lips against her skin. She would tense up as I went further, but I'd just stroke her hands with my thumbs that were already resting at her hips, and she'd chill. I even started sucking a bit, causing her breath to quicken and her head to tilt away from me subconsciously, giving me more access. I could hardly believe what was happening.

The DJ announced a slow song, and our moment was over. I expected her to hurry away from me, but she just turned around and looked up at me, seeming a bit scared and vulnerable, but loving, too. Like a child.

I pulled her close to me and she buried her face in my chest, wrapping her arms around my neck.

* * *

I hoped the slow song was long. I wanted to be in Fang's arms like this forever.

The way he kissed my neck before was confusing and infuriating and embarrassing, but it was also great. Really, really, great. It felt amazing.

Fang tickled my back gently, just the way I like, and whispered those stupid little sweet nothings in my ear that I couldn't get enough of. He told me he loved me, that I was beautiful, that I was perfect, that I meant everything to him... It was totally corny, but we both took it seriously. I swear he knows exactly what he's doing: making me fall in love with him.

I held him tightly, willing myself not to get too emotional. The song ended all too quickly, and the dance was over, but I didn't stop holding on to him.

"Ready to go?" he asked softly. I nodded.

I held his hand on the way to the parking lot and stroked his arm as he drove. There was a change between us after that last song, the kind of change where we start becoming way more than friends. It lasted about as long as the dance did.

He walked me up to my front porch and then stopped, cupping my face with his hands and just staring. He stroked my cheeks with his thumbs, his touch light as a feather, and I noticed that his mouth was open ever-so-slightly. How much I wanted that mouth right then...

I don't know who initiated it, but we were both slowly inching toward each other, tilting our heads and beginning to close our eyes, and I could feel how warm his lips were even though they hadn't touched yet, and—

Gazzy burst out of the front door. "Guys, our parents wanna talk to us, and mom's all upset, and I'm really worried... Wait, were you...?"

I ignored his half question. "Um, okay."

I was way too freaked to look back at Fang after that, but I did let our hands brush up against each other continuously as we walked inside. That was so close!

We walked into my living room to discover my mom in tears and looking like she'd been crying a lot, Fang's mom in a very similar state, my dad with his head in his hands, and Fang's dad... not looking as upset as the rest of them. I immediately went over to hug my mom.

"My baby, I'm so sorry," she whispered, shaking. I was so confused.

"So, we have news..." Fang's dad started, clearly uncomfortable.

"Yeah, seems like it. What the hell is going on?" I asked, getting anxious. When my parents didn't correct my swear, I realized whatever this was had to be bad. Really, really, bad. Fang and I shared a worried glance.

"Well, I got a promotion at my job. I've wanted this for a long time, and I think it'll be really great for our family... I'll make a lot more money, and enjoy what I'm doing, and it'll help with college tuition and such..." he began slowly.

I didn't like where this was going. Not one bit.

"It's in London, though..." he added, looking a whole lot more nervous.

London?

No. There is no way this is happening.

"So you mean, like, you and Alicia won't be around anymore? Fang will have to live with us?" I tried. I was still majorly in denial.

My mom sobbed and shook her head. "I'm so sorry," she breathed.

* * *

**What an evil way to end a chapter!**

**I plan on updating within the next day. I'm sorry for abandoning this for, like, a month! I've been so busy.**

**Review please! :)**

**P.S. I totally rushed the homecoming stuff because it was really boring compared to what the rest of the plot will be like and I really just wanted to move on because I think it will improve my motivation to write more okay yeah**


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